Flashback Friday...Cone of Silence

 

Does your family have folklore?  Stories which transcend generations?  Tales which get told...and retold at every family gathering?  This is one such story which shall go down in the annals of Stuart history.

First off, let me say how much I love my oldest son.  He brings so much joy to his family...whether it's his sterling report cards, his wickedly clever sense of humor, his determination...or (at times) the comic relief he provides.  Troy is awesome!  Now let's move on.

We were on a road trip to (or through) Utah, about seven years ago, and were eating lunch at the seventh circle of Dante's hell a McDonald's Playland in St. George.  (The one in the Dixie Downs area...for those of you who like visuals.)  We stayed a while, making sure the kids were good and tired, but finally needed to be on our way.  I helped kids with shoes, Cliff took the boys to the bathroom, I took the girl to the bathroom.  One by one, we met by the van in the (scorching hot) parking lot.  All except the keeper of the keys.  He was nowhere to be found.  I was desperate to get the A/C going, so I sent Troy in to determine Dad's whereabouts.

Troy went in, and in less than a minute I saw him running out of the restroom, toward the glass wall which was standing between him and the parking lot (where I was waiting).  He was shouting something, cupping his hand against his mouth for added affect.  I (innocently) gestured, "What?"...which was a mistake, causing him to repeat his message, even louder..which I could now hear clear as a bell.  "HE'S GOING NUMBER TWO!", Troy shouted....as if he and I were the only two souls on earth...or at least within hearing, oblivious to the semi-crowded restaurant.  As soon as I realized what he was saying, I started the panic-stricken gesturing (hand across throat...waving hands in front of face while shaking head) which only caused him to repeat himself LOUDER, as if my only issue was a hearing problem.  My eyes darted over to the patrons in line, waiting to order their Value Meals...some of them doing a better job of muffling their hysterics than others...and I pressed my face up against the glass and shouted for Troy to stop...and to have Dad pass the keys under the stall.

Troy came out and sprung us from the inferno, still mostly unaware of what was so funny.  We cranked the A/C and waited patiently.  I wondered if Cliff had even been aware of all the excitement.  He made a hasty exit, hopped into he driver's seat, and then said, "Oh...I forgot my sign" as he made a move for the van door handle.  I (innocently) asked, "What sign?"

"The sign announcing the the whole world THAT I'M GOING NUMBER TWO!!!"

I guess he heard. =^)