Empathy

I've had a few friendly reminders lately that I still have a blog and that people are kind of counting on me to use it to keep them in the know. Sorry about that. Normally, I love this blog. It's actually my TV time. (So when you are asking yourself, "How does she have time to both have a life and blog about it?" remind yourself that I all but swore off TV over three years ago. Except for the occasional episode of Oprah which I watch {if waiting for kids at piano} or listen to {if needing to keep my eyes on the road} in my car. Yes, our van has TV...one American channel and about ten Japanese. Don't be jealous. Six baking potatoes cost $10 over here.)

I should first remind you that this blog started as a cheap form of therapy. I started it as we were preparing to move over here to be able to share what we were doing with loved ones (since, when we were living in the USA, we were still far from family and lots of our friends). When Cliff was deployed within two months of our arrival here, I depended upon the blog to help me focus on the positive. There was a lot of suffering going on within our extended circle...and the deployment just sort of added to that...but writing here helped me to focus on the positive and find the humor. Each week as I documented our mandatory family fun, and re-read my posts, it helped me not to get pulled under. It helped me to see that we were thriving. Focusing on the positive was key.

But, this past couple of weeks have been rough. Several people we love and care about deeply are suffering greatly for different reasons, and I haven't really found the humor, to be honest. I won't go into details, because they are not my stories to tell, but just suffice it to say, there is no shortage of pain and suffering in the world. I don't compartmentalize very well. I try, with occasional success, but most of the time fail miserably. (Cliff does this very well...great trait for a chaplain to have, I'd imagine.)

When talking with my older brother the other day, he brought up the fact that he thinks that he and I have more empathy than normal. I think he might be right...we are definitely more emotional than most, and always have been. (I'm remembering my wedding day, having a clear view of Jimmy {who was one of our groomsmen} sobbing, unabashedly through the whole ceremony. I love him.) Anyway, when tragic things happen to people, I'm practically swallowed up by them. When people I love are hurting, I physically feel their pain. This is one of the reasons I gave up on becoming a nurse. As a hospital corpsman, I would take patients' suffering home with me. It was consuming. Don't get me wrong, I think a healthy level of empathy is important...it's powerful and can be beautiful. I just wish sometimes I could turn it off.

So, all of that rambling just to say that over the past two weeks, the thought of coming on here to post random, funny thoughts or photos of our good times...frankly, made me sick to my stomach.

But, today I am reminded that we have a loving Heavenly Father in charge of all of this. That what looks like a horrible, unfair mess to me...He sets about using for his purposes. I have enough examples of this in my own life, I don't know why I ever doubt...but sometimes I do. And like a loving father, He gently reminds me.

"And I said unto him: I know that He loveth His children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things."---1 Nephi 11:17, Book of Mormon



*If you're a Star Trek geek, you already know who she is. If not, this is Counselor Deanna Troi, an Empath, who I can really relate to some days. Not that I'm a Star Trek geek, but when I was pregnant with Troy (on bedrest) while Cliff was away, I used to watch this show, just because I missed him so much and it made me feel closer to him. End of disclaimer. Wait...I just realized. I have one kid named Troy, and another named Patrick Stuart. Maybe I am a Star Trek geek...by proxy?

Dang...that's GOT to be poisonous!

Is what Troy said when I showed him this:



I found her by accident. I was watering my flower beds, minding my own business, when suddenly I saw something like this out of the corner of my eye:



Have I led a sheltered existence if I never knew spiders did this? It just never occurred to me that they could. It looked like she was having a good time, actually...like a little spidey-trampoline. In reality, I'm sure she was ticked. I think if we could hear her swinging, inner-dialogue, we'd find it went something like..."These freakin' people and their stupid garden hoses...can't they look where they're spraying? Sheesh! I've got a limited window of time I'm workin' with here...and now she just basically broadcast my position on the 5:00 news!"

Well, of course I had to run for my camera. She was still swingin' when I got back, but stopped long enough for me to get some good still shots. Then I thought it would be cool to get her swinging on the above video, too, sooooo....I sprayed her again. This had the desired affect, but judging by the extra vigor she put into her bouncing, I think now it's probably personal. It was clearly premeditated on my part, and she knows it.



Needless to say, I'll be watching my back. (And by the way...I looked it up online and it's a wasp spider...and they are no more poisonous than a bee sting. Is it weird that this makes her seem less exotic now?)

Stealth Sociology

A few hours ago, I was waiting in line at the commissary...which can be a great opportunity to people watch. Today did not disappoint. There was a multi-generational Filipino family in front of me with four darling kids in tow...including these girls pictured below (who seemed about 8ish). They had been dancing around, giggle-whispering, etc....when something caught their attention:



It was the cover of Us Weekly magazine, sporting Robert Pattinson on the cover...with the headline, "Why she'll break his heart". I have to admit, it sounded much more interesting oozing slowly from their quivering, star-struck, pre-teen voices (as they clutched the issue and looked at each other like they had just discovered gold) than it did when my eyes had fallen across the headline minutes earlier. It was downright darling...in fact, and it made me chuckle out loud. They stood there silently frozen, feasting on every tabloid word...until Grandma beckoned them to come now, and they reluctantly put it back in its place. *Sigh*

{Photo courtesy of my quick thinking (and the pile of paper towels in my cart, behind which I could hide the stealth camera).}

Driving Around Okinawa

I'm glad this man likes to drive:



Because it gives me much more opportunity to photograph interesting little tidbits to share with all of you:


Not that I'm opposed to photogging while driving...I've done it before. It just doesn't always work out when you have to keep your eyes on the road and aim in the general direction and hope you got what you wanted on camera.

These photos are not all from the same trip, I've just been saving them up for awhile, hoping a theme would emerge.

"Interesting stuff" is enough of a theme, right?



Driving under the monorail to the airport in Naha. (Riding on this is on our list of stuff to do.)



Just like the handicapped symbol...or the men's and women's restroom symbols...only this is the universal "we're sorry for your inconvenience" symbol. Effective, no?



Cool bridge we drove over in Naha.



Have any of you ever seen this logo before? Seems a little extreme for some cream soda, don't you think? This was taken not far from our home.



I love how the Okinawans try to make ordinary things more visually appealing (which is entirely subjective, I realize). This is a bus stop. A sweet, magic mushroom bus stop. This was taken up at the more...how shall we say..."rural", laid-back, north end of the island. You know, like the Seattle of Okinawa.



Kind of like the jellyfish man...this guy gets his point across, doesn't he?



I don't know which phrase I like better here..."Jumbo Tours" or "Pleasant Trip Together".
(I secretly think I'll come back to the US speaking like this and people will think I've lost my mind.)



Most of the time, I hate the stormy weather...but I loved the storm clouds behind the Ferris wheel in American Village.



I will admit, I actually went about a mile out of my way to get this picture. I saw it pass by and had to catch up. Eventually we landed at the same red light. This is the first sign (other than grossly exaggerated stories of protests in the news) I've seen of the supposed "anti-military base" sentiment here. I wonder if they were going for 'hilarious'...because if they were, it worked...I was busting up.

Flashback Friday...Buzz and Woody

There was a specific picture I had in mind for this flashback...but of course, I couldn't find it! I thought that with all this talk of my Toy Story nostalgia, I'd post pictures of Troy and Patrick as Buzz and Woody.


These pictures are not much to brag about...but I guess they will have to do. (But, oh that daddy is something to brag about! Isn't he handsome?)



A beautiful day in May on Coronado Island in San Diego, 1997.



Oh how I wish I could go back with today's camera!

(Wait...that would mean back to diapers. Never mind!)

Wonky weather

Yes, weather on Okinawa is nothing if not unpredictable. You need to come prepared with sunglasses...and an umbrella. Yesterday, we arrived at the commissary to clear skies...and with a snorkeling appointment to make. When we left the commissary, the sky was almost dark as night in the ocean direction, but blue with white clouds in the opposite direction. By the time we reached home (10 minutes later) this is what we had:


Complete with lightening and thunder.

So much for snorkeling. Sorry, kiddos!

Okinawa Peace Prayer Memorial Park

Yesterday we finally visited Peace Prayer Park...something I've wanted to do since we arrived on the island. After spending the day there, I'm glad that I had waited...that I've had the opportunity to observe and interact with the Okinawan people before my visit, because the more I've seen, the more I've learned to love and appreciate the Okinawan people. Because of this, the things I learned and saw here had a stronger impact on me. I cried through a great deal of the park.

It is a very large complex, with different buildings and exhibits. Some of them you pay a small fee to enter (like the memorial hall and the museum) but most of it is free. The placards below were in the information center:




Please click and enlarge these photos to read the text.



From here, we hiked the steps to the memorial hall...



Which houses an Okinawan art gallery, as well as a giant, praying Buddha statue. We took photos next to our favorite paintings. I know I've mentioned in other posts how nutso I am over Okinawan roofs...as well as those Okinawan dance bonnets.










This giant Buddha took one man (Shinzan Yamada) 18 years to build. I won't go into all the symbolism here, but there is much. We had this hall to ourselves, so we could sit and take our time. The photo doesn't do justice to the size and beauty of this statue, or the peaceful feeling in the room. I sat down to read the biography of the Okinawan artist in the brochure, and started sobbing. He built this as a remembrance of all the war dead...including his two sons...and as a wish for world peace so that others wouldn't have to know similar tragedy. He started this at the age of 72 and during the 18 years, he fell off the scaffolding twice...and got back up to continue his work.



I'm sure you noticed the colorful streamers surrounding the Buddha in the picture behind Jake. They are actually thousands of little paper cranes (like in Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes), which are made by school children each year and sent to various peace memorial sites around the world.



Patrick compared to the statue.



It's hard to see in the photograph...but there is a cluster of stars painted on the ceiling above. This symbolizes the final resting place of all those who were killed. It's beautiful in person.



The details are stunning. This is all done in traditional Ryukyu lacquer.






Downstairs, underneath the statue, there was a room full of display cases filled with "peace stones" collected from countries all over the world. They were placed under the statue based on the belief that the wish for peace is universal.


Guess what Germany's "stone" is?



As we left the memorial hall, we followed the path around back to the butterfly garden. It is small, but beautiful. It is symbolic to how precious life and peace are.



I thought this was ingenious, and I don't know why I never thought of it. They pulled the leaves which held cocoons off of the trees and clipped them up to hang in one area. Aren't the pupae stunning? I never knew they came in gold. These are Ogomadara...the largest butterfly in Japan.



Small, medium and large caterpillars.

Jake was popular with the butterflies:













Above: (Clockwise, L to R) I love all the many varieties of Shisa dogs on the island. The hands have to be my favorite. They are molds for one of the Buddha hands...and they fit perfectly in the garden. Heading back down the steps of the memorial hall, you can see how large the property is...and this is only a portion of it. As much as I hate spiders, there are some beautiful ones here.




Next, we walked over to the actual museum.



The above exhibit is right inside the door of the museum. I know you can only see the large shell and half of a smaller one, but there are many actual, unearthed ordnance shells in this display. They represent hundreds of thousands of unexploded shells still believed to exist on this beautiful island. The battle of Okinawa was named by the people here as "The Typhoon of Steel".


The children's area is beautiful. Most of it is in Japanese...but some of it you don't need to read to understand. I loved the globe behind Jake, where pictures of children make up the continents of the world.



I caught a glimpse of this outside one of the windows and it sent my heart aflutter. I guess I'm not the only one who goes gaga over these roof lines, because this appears to be purely aesthetic here...it's just the roof of the museum made to look like a village.

Next, we went to see the permanent exhibit inside the museum, which you have to pay to see. The cost was minimal. Up until this point, we practically had the place to ourselves...but we could hear a thundering roar of chatter coming behind us as wave after wave of Japanese high school students from mainland Japan came up the stairs.


You see this placard first thing as you walk into the exhibit. I gathered this was going to be a timeline of Okinawan history (which it was).



A stunning screen mural...there is no way photographs could do it justice because of the dim lighting.

This is the point where a docent came to tell me that there was not photography allowed in this particular exhibit. (Bummer!)

This is also the point where we decided we were better off allowing the students to pass us as there were just too many of them to be able to see around. Cliff said to me, "Watch them as they come in the room and see what this is about." Sure enough, each group of friends would enter laughing and joking (a universal teen trait) and as soon as their eyes caught the signage and they saw this part of the exhibit was dedicated to the Japanese oppression of the Okinawan people, they fell silent. Without fail.

The groups breezed through quickly, leaving us to take our time. I already knew some of the history...but it was interesting to read the lengths the Okinawan people went to in order to prove themselves loyal "imperial citizens" of Japan. They were forbidden from speaking the Okinawan dialect, and could be shot as spies if caught doing so. Everyone was forced to learn Japanese. As a result, their local language is all but dead. Can you imagine having your heritage, your culture, your language erased by force? I can understand why the Okinawan people value traditional art, music and culture so much...and why peace and harmony are paramount in their society. I loved this quote from one of the brochures...

"The Okinawan Heart is a human response that respects personal dignity above all else, rejects any acts related to war, and truly cherishes culture, which is a supreme expression of humanity."

The displays progressed through WW I and II. To see the pictures, artifacts and testimonials was almost too much. Okinawans were forced to live in caves, many of which were already used as tombs for their ancestors. As the American forces advanced, babies and children were killed by Japanese soldiers for crying (so they wouldn't give away their positions). They were forced to give what little food they had left to the Japanese soldiers and many died of starvation. They couldn't leave the caves for weeks or months at a time for fear of being killed by American soldiers...so their dead loved ones piled up around them. The barrage of American shelling killed civilians by the thousands. Entire families were wiped out in one shelling. It is said that every single Okinawan living today has family members who were killed in this battle. One-third of the Okinawan population was wiped out. I can't even imagine.

In the end, when the Japanese knew they had no hope of victory, they slaughtered civilians as they retreated or forced them into mass suicide. In other cases, Japanese soldiers convinced the Okinawan people that they would be savagely killed by American forces if they were captured, driving thousands to throw themselves into the ocean, to their deaths. Although there's no doubt the Okinawans suffered greatly during the ensuing US occupation (land seizures, civil rights violations), they were surprised that Americans were not the savages the Japanese had led them believe.

As you leave the exhibit, through a huge picture window, this is what you see:



These are the famed "suicide cliffs". It's hard to believe such a beautiful view could be the scene of such tragic events.

Of all the museums I have been to, this one was the most engaging, emotional and powerful. They did an amazing job in every detail, left me wanting to read every inch of the place and learn more...and I highly recommend it, especially if you have an interest in history. (Family and friends: Hint, hint!)



This is the Cornerstone of Peace. Even though you can't see it, there is a flame which was transferred from 3 different sites...peace monuments at the first landing site of US forces in Okinawa (Akajima island), as well as the two sites where the US dropped atomic bombs (Hiroshima and Nagasaki).



These are the most adorable school uniforms I've seen yet. These children are from mainland Japan. You must enlarge the picture to get a better look.



The children all walked around the circle and took notes in their matching books while their tour guide spoke.



I love these shorts!



The path to the cornerstone is lined with stone monuments, etched with the names of the 240,000 war dead...military and civilian, of all nationalities. There are several rows of Americans...this is where they start.


And here is a panoramic view from the Cornerstone of Peace.



As we were leaving, there were still Japanese students coming in droves. Notice the pond to the right we had to cross over...



This little guy swam over to us as fast as he could while we were crossing, looking at us expectantly. Cliff threw him a hibiscus flower...and another, much larger turtle came and snapped it away. But of course, I missed it.



On our way back to the car, we stopped at this monument called "Peace Hill". It is supposed to represent one of the many naturally formed caves which Okinawans were forced to hide in and fend for themselves. The inscription on it says, "A strong will toward peace." This monument's symbolism really struck me after learning of the significance of the caves in the museum exhibit. I don't think I'll ever look at another cave or shrine on this island the same way again.


And just when we thought we might not make it any farther (the heat and humidity were rough) a sweet Okinawan man selling Blue Seal ice cream, beckoned us to his booth. We had to lick fast to keep up with the drips, but we found some shade to enjoy our pineapple, sugar cane, mango or sweet potato cones...



And have some great family discussion about the things that we learned. There was no way we could cover everything there was to see in a day. We'll need to return, for sure.


Why is there war? I wish I had the answer. Selfishness and greed, to oversimplify it. How do we stop it? Another answer I wish I had. It's obvious that taking just the example of Okinawa...it is not enough to be peace loving. They were a peace loving people, and war found them. No matter how they cherished peace, they were caught in this Typhoon of Steel between two great armies. Regardless, I will continue to hope, pray and strive for peace...because while it may seem paradoxical...as we are sort of in the "business" of war in this family...I have personally felt (as a family member of the 1% of our nation who currently provide for it's defense) the truth in the following quote:

"The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war."---Douglas MacArthur


P.S. And if you guessed Germany's rock is a piece of the Berlin wall...you'd be correct!