I'm No Baby Momma (or...I sold my soul for an underwater digital camera)

Let me start out with a disclaimer: I love babies...babies are cute and sweet and fun and full of promise. We all start out this way...fuzzy-headed, chubby-cheeked and beautiful. I'm so grateful to have been blessed with 4 of my own...lucky for me, not all at the same time! I still love holding a good, sweet (sleeping) baby...ONE baby...not 3 or 5.

That said, now I can continue with this post...

About a week and a half ago, during a phone convo related to one of my responsibilities, a fairly new friend was asking me for some unrelated info...like the ages of my kids and if I could get away from them for an entire day to watch a room full of someone else's kids for a REALLY good cause and "it paid really good money", $25 an hour to be exact. Her dilemma was, she needed people who didn't have to bring any of their own kids. People like that are evidently in short supply as they usually already have full time employment. The situation was further complicated by the fact that so many flee this island for the brutal summer.

So, I was looking at the calendar as she pleaded her case, at the ever-dwindling number of days I had left to accomplish all that I wanted to before Cliff's homecoming...like painting the entire interior of our home, turning our bedroom into a themed bed and breakfast suite, finishing college algebra and losing 50 pounds. Suddenly, $50 an hour would not have been enough. But she was tugging at my heart strings with the "really good cause"...and some quick calculations made me realize that for 9 hours of work, I would have almost exactly enough for that underwater camera I had been drooling over just the day before. I relented. How bad could it be?

Immediately, I started digging through my craft supplies and matching my children's books to my felt-board pieces. I would have these preschoolers eating out of Auntie Carrie's hand. BUT...two days before the event, I received the phone call from this friend's co-worker that hit me like a slap upside the head. It went something like this..."Well, some of these mommies are leaving their babies for the first time ever...and since you're so (insert some PC word like mature or experienced here...I forget what she called me) we figured it would give them more confidence to leave their babies with you for the day." BABIES?!? You want me to watch the bab-IES...as in plural? All at one time? (I screamed in my head, of course...as I listened to myself say..."Oh, OK...that's fine" and returned my gluesticks and pony beads back to the shelf.)

Let me back up a little...I was a stressed-out, uptight, anal-retentive mother of babies...and again, I only did them ONE AT A TIME! I was never able to take my children to one of those free-for-all, nursery settings with kids from babies on up to 6th graders in one room that I've too often seen. I used to pay for a baby sitter for my own kids at home while I'd go to church (for mid-week activities) and have to monitor that kind of situation (because of my church responsibilities) for other people's kids...and the scene would make me nutty. It's not that I condemn parents who utilize this type of childcare...on the contrary. I'm just too much of a control freak. In my mind, group childcare should be neatly compartmentalized...by small age groups in separate rooms and tidy schedules with a very tight ratio. Somehow, I got the feeling that wasn't how this was going to be...

And I was right. I wish I had a time-lapsed video so you could all get a little glimpse. The babies were cute, but the control freak in me just could not relax with the mixture of sizes and abilities. The ones who could barely hold their heads up with the toddlers who could crush fingers with their shoes and bounce toys off bald heads like nobody's business. The feedings were comical...trying to accomplish naptimes...not so much. The fussy baby (whose mother informed me would not be able to sleep unless the room was pitch black and silent....yeah...that'll be no problem to accomplish) pretty much set the tone for everyone else...so I'm sure you can imagine that one. Once I did get them all to sleep, I literally sat frozen in the dark, listening to the older children run, laughing, up and down the corridor. I blocked the door with my body...ready to eviscerate anyone who dared try to turn the knob and wake my charges from their hard-fought sleep. The whole time I kept thinking things like, "How on earth do I get suckered into these things?" and "Why are minutes seeming like hours?" and "Am I putting off some sort of unknown vibe that says I'm capable of caring for babies in large numbers, or is this a fluke?"

Eventually it was over. The parents came back for their precious cargo, and I made my long, reflective drive home...having been reminded of my strengths and limitations. I am a WAY better mom (and caretaker in general) of older children...meaning old enough to speak to, reason with and wipe themselves. For me, having babies was the investment phase. I was not one of those moms who HAD to have a baby and wanted to freeze said baby in time. I couldn't wait to look back on it all with great nostalgia. It was the children that I wanted...the fun and the laughter...the learning and discoveries...but for most of us, children are acquired as babies first, and I was willing to put in the investment to grow them into people.

Was the $25 an hour worth it? If it made a difference to those families, I guess it was. Will I be persuaded so easily the next time? With this memory so fresh, probably not. I think it's important to accentuate our strengths, even in service. We all have gifts and they are not the same gifts. If you need my help...unless you are headed to the ER or something, I think I'd rather come fold your laundry, do your dishes or make you some dinner. I'm sure there are plenty of "baby mommas" out there just looking for some fat cheeks to squeeze.

And I'll let you know how things work out with that hard-earned camera! ;-)