I haven't blogged about this for three reasons: (1) Cliff's last week of work was a total whirlwind of commitments, day and night, so I barely had time to breathe (2) We were getting ready to go to the Happiest Place on Earth, so I didn't want any unhappy thoughts killing my buzz and (3) I think I was kind of in denial. Other than my parents and 1 or 2 others, I had not told anyone because talking or writing about it makes it more real.
Anyway, last Monday night, Cliff had a speaking engagement at our monthly Navy League meeting. It was our last one, so they also bid us farewell. It was a pretty nice evening. Anyway, at about 11 that night, I was checking email and saw one from a Navy officer whose name I didn't recognize. He is the head chaplain of Cliff's new unit in Okinawa. He asked for our phone number because he had something urgent to discuss with Cliff. I replied with the number, and not kidding, 3o seconds later, he called (it was the middle of the workday there). I tried to decipher what was going on only hearing Cliff's side of the conversation, but I couldn't. Cliff's tone was pretty flat and unreadable, but I knew it wasn't good news.
It turns out, the unit has been tasked with providing a chaplain to do an IA (Individual Augmentation) back in the Middle East (not sure I should write where it is on here, so I won't). Anyway, there are only 2 possible chaplains that could go, but because of the rank and experience that the job requires, it really narrows it down to one possibility (Cliff). He'll be doing mortuary affairs, and he'll leave in Feb. for a month of training and then ship out from there for six months.
It was very kind of his new boss to give him as much notice as possible, so that we could make plans. We've gone over lots of options...and it always comes back to being together for as long as possible, which will only happen if we follow him to Okinawa...otherwise, we'll be apart 10 months instead of 7.
Anyway, there it is. We sure never saw this one coming...their mission in his new unit in Okinawa is completely different (although he would still do short deployments elsewhere), so the Middle East did not seem like an option...but we didn't consider the dreaded IA where they can pluck you from wherever you are and place you wherever you are needed (just you...not your unit...if they need your job specialty, and to serve with whatever branch of service they need you to serve). It doesn't matter that he's already done 3 deployments over there...lots of people have. It's the new normal.
The silver lining to this (if there is one) is that if you are sent on an IA, you have the option of tacking that time you lost on to the end of your tour...meaning Cliff could get 7 more months in Okinawa...which would be enough time for Patrick to graduate from high school, too. Not having to change scenery in the middle of your senior year is a definite bonus.
I've heard people say (in reference to deployments) "You get used to it." They are either lying to themselves, trying to be polite, or they are dead inside. You most certainly do NOT get used to it! I think it gets harder. As you become more and more "one", it's like a traumatic amputation when the other half of you leaves for such a long time. Of course, my friend Sarah points out that in the Navy, at least you are happy half of the time...which half that is depends upon the individual marriage!
That said, we will most certainly make the best of it, fall into a routine, look for "growth opportunities" (that will be there regardless of whether we want them!) and look forward to that sweet reunion when our family will come alive again. If you have never experienced a military homecoming...oh my goodness! Even the news media is in tears, it is such a joyous event! And even though ours will be minus the band and fanfare of a ship or squadron returning, our little family will more than make up for it, I promise!
2 comments:
Oh Carrie (and family...) My heart goes out to your family...your words ring true that you never get used to a deployment. The moment there is any whisper in the wind of a deployment there forms a knot in the stomach. You truly put it in place to say that you are not whole when the person you ONE or whole with has to be apart from you! I wrote in one of my posts though that the Holy Ghost helps to ease the loneliness and ache of the hole it puts in your heart and I've found it to be so as I go on my 10th month of James' deployment. We're still crossing our fingers at him actually getting to come home for a 2 week R&R this month, and then we have to say goodbye again until March of next year. Anyhow, we do look forward to the reunion times and our reuniting is ever so sweet and not taken for granted. It's our light at the end of a tunnel we'd rather not face and yet to continue on the path that the Lord has for us individually-we must put one faithtful foot in front of the other day by day and sometimes hour by hour. I love you as my chaplain's-wives SISTER! I will be praying for you and your family. I hope you are feeling better too. I always love reading your posts!
You are so sweet, Felila...I know your family has sure had more than their share! I keep thinking that James will be home for his R&R any time now. I know that it will be short, and then it will be so hard to send him away again.
I also have to acknowledge that most of my personal growth experiences have come from deployments. It is definitely a time to lean on the Lord and rely on the comfort of the Holy Ghost! Thanks so much for your encouragement! I love you, too!
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