World Peace and Inner Rage

Warning: This post is kind of rantish. Normally I like to keep it shiny and happy here (with the occasional mommy breakdown). If shiny and happy is what you are after, you may want to skip this one. My intention is not to offend anyone...(well, anyone other than the whiny, progressive, clueless elitists of which I write.) but I realize my tone here might kill your buzz, regardless. Fair warning.

I've been kind of an emotional wreck today. It's a combination of things, I'm sure...Cliff being gone, the cold, rainy, gray day outside, etc. (and by etc., I'm sure I mean hormones). Before I continue, I'd like you to read a couple of articles:

First, this one. It's short. I'll wait.

Then, this one. It's longer...but please {if you love me} read it. It means that much. I'll still wait....




You back? Thanks for reading those. Maybe now you'll better understand my frame of mind, and the ranting which will now commence.

After reading the first one, I just felt rage. Well, rage, and like I just wanted to throw up. I'm serious. What the expletive is wrong with our country? Or at least with the elite "progressives" in it? I have to say I am a political moderate...I have friends all along the spectrum whom I love dearly and AGREE WITH to some degree or another, I'm sure...but can we not all agree that someone who sacrificed a whole, healthy body and normal life for the freedom of your whiny, elite, progressive behind...deserves some respect?

Listen, you don't have to agree with bringing ROTC back onto your campus...but what these snot-nosed kids did was absolutely shameful and pathetic. {Nevermind that ROTC is a fantastic, self-supporting, leader-developing program...which would help to mold and shape *the very same low-income individuals you claim that the military preys upon*, into the leaders of the future. I hear complaints about how the officer ranks are so lacking in diversity...well here's a missed opportunity to remedy that! ROTC produces leaders.}

And while we are on the topic...let's take a look at the issue of the military "preying" on low income communities. I thank my LUCKY STARS for my (almost) five years in the Navy. It was life-changing. I am not exaggerating when I say it changed my destiny. {Not the least of which was meeting and marrying my husband...BUT THAT'S NOT EVEN WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!} When I joined the Navy, I WAS one of those low-income people mentioned on the sign in the picture! I was recruited out of an inner-city neighborhood, thank you very much! I had ZERO prospects for college...and about as much self-esteem. Since I'm laying it all out there for you guys...here it is...I BARELY graduated high school. I had to go to night school to get enough credits to graduate. I had no money, a part time job at the mall and divorced parents, neither of whom could afford to put me through college.

But I'll tell you what I did have...I had a legacy. Like the beautiful (and pitiful) quote in the second article..."Service to and sacrifice for the nation have become a legacy affair for a relatively small number of families." But even at that, this legacy really meant nothing to me, until I did something to claim it. I entered boot camp with not a lot of prospects, no direction, little self esteem, but a desire to follow in my grandfather's big footsteps. I left boot camp with the realization that I mattered...that there was a big world out there, and that I had the opportunity to invent myself in it. And I did...boy did I ever! If I had stayed where I was, I can promise you...the ending (or at least the journey) would have been much different.

This same scenario happens each time a Sailor (or any service member) graduates boot camp. She becomes part of something bigger. He is exposed to people from all walks of life and learns to work with and appreciate their differences. I realize I'm romanticizing something which is much grittier, but at it's very core, this is the truth. What the heck is wrong with that? I resent being painted as a victim. I resent being presented as someone who was preyed upon or taken advantage of by the military because I had no other options. NO...I was given THE GIFT of options by the Navy, thank you very much. THE GIFT of learning just how capable I am...that no one else gets to define me but me. It's an amazing thing that happens within the walls of that open squad bay. The process of having your "old self" stripped away to nothing so that the "new you" can be built back up.

{Trivia: I remember a friend from high school telling me how sorry she felt for me that I was missing out on the "college experience" she was having (up the street from her childhood home). I didn't have the heart to tell her how sorry I felt for her (and still do) as she is still trapped in the same town by the same family whom she allows to abuse and define her. I might be having a different (and extended) college experience...but I'll take the life-altering lessons the Navy gave me, PLUS the money for college...over frat party life any day.}

{More Trivia: I think this is the main reason I loved my job in military education so much. I got to see these young Sailors, who were just like I was, who had come from similar circumstances and joined the military to "be somebody"...and I had the privilege of helping them to become even better. They were serving their country, and I got to help them through the process of letting their country return the favor with an education. Sweet work, if you can get it.}

Am I ignoring the fact that some of these service members pay a very high price? That some lose limbs? Give the ultimate sacrifice? Absolutely not. I can't even fathom what it is like to make that sacrifice...or to love someone who has made that kind of sacrifice. But I would rather myself, my husband or my child die FIGHTING for something better, than so many other options out there. There are FAR worse things to lose a spouse or child to than death...especially death in the service of something greater than yourself.

In the second article, it was like Adm. Mike Mullen expressed the thoughts I had years ago but couldn't even find words for, when he said, "I worry that we could wake up one day and that the American people will no longer know us and we won't know them." or when Ike Skelton said, "Those who protect us are psychologically divorced from those who are being protected."

Like a horrific flashback, it brings me back to a time in the early days of OEF and OIF, where we were experiencing deployment after deployment...where the price our family was paying was high...and it felt like people were just going about their daily lives, completely unaware of what our reality was. Like we were living in a different country within our own neighborhoods and schools. I found myself tiring of having to muster polite responses to their platitudes. If I had to hear "we support the troops but not the war" or "they just need to bring them all home" in those pitiful, condescending tones, directed at me {their token military friend}; from one more complacent, San-Diego-BMW-driving, quasi-peacenik...I was going to forget my manners. It felt SOOO wrong, that I should have to endure that. To say goodbye to my husband again and again, to steel my kids for the pain and uncertainty ahead, hold our whole world together until he returned...and "play nice" with my "progressive" neighbors who obviously had no idea (or didn't care) whom or what provided them the luxury not to worry, while they thought their progressive thoughts. I can't explain it...other than to say it was soul-crushing on days that I allowed it to be.

So today, I find myself very reflective. Wallowing a bit in that challenging experience...feeling so much empathy for those still in the thick of it (both on the front lines, and trying to hold down the home-front for their families). But I also came to the realization that it is easy for us here on Okinawa to forget that so many military families are still living this experience in their communities back in the USA. It hit me that we don't have that problem here. We are surrounded, day in and day out, by other American military families. Not all of them are in the military...there are civilians (school teachers and asst'd. contractors) but they are all still part of the same basic mission. We all pretty much "get it" with few exceptions. I realized that this was another benefit of living here that makes it hard to want to leave....but isn't that a sad statement? That we would "feel the love" here on foreign soil, more so than in Anytown, USA?

Anyway, this is just one example of why I shouldn't read the news while Cliff is gone. I need to stay focused on doing what I need to do. I really don't normally dwell on these thoughts...it's much easier not to, but whenever I read articles like these, I can really let my emotions get the better of me.

God bless Anthony Maschek, The Kelly family, and all of our service members and their families who are currently fighting the fight, or who have already paid the price for us in so many ways. I promise, I will never forget.

"Freedom is not free, but the United States Marine Corps will pay most of your share."---Ned Dolan