What I've learned after 30 days...

I have learned SO much from The Kind Diet and Women, Food and God. I know that I can't sum it all up here, but I'll try to hit some of the highlights that come to mind (in totally random order...the only way my mind rolls):

1. I learned that I love to eat vegetables and whole grains. Seriously.

2. Not only do I love to taste them, my body loves them. I imagine I feel the same way my car might when I use premium gas (OK...I'm too cheap for that...but if I ever did...that's how it would feel).

3. The less animal products I eat, the better I feel. I was eating way too much meat...and I really didn't think I did. I like a little fish or chicken for some flavor and some B12 (maybe one serving a day, if that)...but any meat really should be used truly sparingly. I am not a vegan, and I didn't do this for any animal-rights motivation, but I do feel like if we all consumed less animal products, it would be better for everyone (animals and people) involved.

4. Processed food is poison...and if after eating "clean" for a week or so, you go back to it...you will feel like you have been poisoned. Trust me...I tried it.

5. Dairy is not my friend. I also feel we have been fed a ration by the dairy industry when it comes to the benefit of dairy products. There are WAY better sources of calcium and protein out there that don't come with the side effects (like my allergies and resulting sinus problems I believe are exacerbated by milk protein). Tell these things to most people, and they will react like you have joined some sort of cult. It's amazing, really...how dairy is such a "sacred cow" (pun intended). I feel SO much better without it!

6. Dark chocolate is a gift from God...and Godiva=Celestial. Just sayin'. I also learned that I only need one to feel satisfied. If I eat more than that, it just makes me feel sick anyway...and who wants that?

7. I've spent most of my meals totally unaware of what I'm doing or experiencing. It is SO much better to eat intentionally...fully aware of the enjoyment.

8. I hate wasting calories on stuff I don't like. I no longer feel obligated to eat anything I don't absolutely love. We get invited to LOTS of social and "mandatory fun" stuff. I got invited to a Cinco de Mayo party which I knew would be a meat-and-cheese-fest. I brought a recipe from the book (a black-soybean and squash stew) that was spicy (cumin, chili powder) and sweet (rice wine) and tomato-ey and full of yummy garlic and onions. Everyone RAVED over it. They had to have the recipe. I felt happy eating it...and nothing else looked as tempting to me (except a little guacamole).

9. If I really listen, my body will tell me what it wants...and it won't be a hot fudge sundae.

{Which comes from one of my favorite quotes in the book..."We don't want to eat hot fudge sundaes as much as we want our lives to be hot fudge sundaes.}

10. I regularly make decisions based on fear and avoidance of pain. Pain and fear have been huge motivators in my life. As I get older, they are losing their grip on me...but I still haven't completely peeled their fingers from my neck. I can look back over my lifetime...but especially my time as a mother, and see the effects.

I have been physically dragging this fear around with me every day for the past 18 years (literally), with the past 10 being especially tough...accompanied by an eighty pound weight gain...most of that over less than a two year period. As I've navigated diagnoses (of the medical and educational kind), treatment plans, IEPs, terrorism and the war on it, deployments (and their accompanying single-parenthood and painful, debilitating loneliness), deaths (both young and old), bullies, manipulators, tough educational choices, social expectations, moves, college classes, career changes and church callings...I've been reminded again and again of how little control I have over anything...and that is absolutely terrifying.

But you know what? I've survived. And the more stuff I've lived through...and the more I've looked around and have seen what others are dealing with, the more I want to live a fabulous life! The kind of life where I don't feel the need to be free of pain, whatever the cost. The kind of life where I accept it as the price of doing business.

So, this is my challenge...and I'm greeting it with baby steps...addressing the anxiety when I fall into its grip...picking it apart, playing the "what if" game until it evaporates. I know my Father in Heaven loves me and has a plan for me bigger than I could ever dream. My desire is to live up to it. With all the challenges I've dealt with in my life, I've been compensated with blessings 100 times over.

I wouldn't change any of it!

Women, Food and God

Maybe I need to stop watching Oprah? It seems whenever I get the chance to watch, I end up buying a new book.

Not that I should be complaining, I guess...the results have been so enlightening.

Oprah mentioned (in passing, really) that she had learned more about weight and her relationship with food from this one book, than she had in a lifetime of other sources:



Of course, this peaked my curiosity and I had to check it out. After reading the reviews, I clicked and thanks to Amazon Prime...it was here in a jiff.

I'm almost done with it...it's a quick read...but I'm quite certain this is one I'll be reading over again. I alternate between feeling like the message is going way over my head (having to read a passage several times)...and having huge "A-ha" moments.

I'm really glad that I read The Kind Diet first, and took the challenge to implement its ideas for 30 days. This gave me a great foundation...because I actually had the experience of feeling what it's like to put only excellent food into my body...and let me tell you, it feels great!

As an added bonus, I found my favorite poem ever, as it was quoted in the book, so I had to go look it up. I'll share:

When Death Comes
by Mary Oliver

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;

when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse to buy me,
and snaps the purse shut;

when death comes like the measle-pox:

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,

and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

When it's over, I want to say: all my life
 I was a bride married to amazement.*
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular,
and real.

I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited
this world.

(*Most epic line in a poem, ever...and taken straight from my heart)

{I will make a couple of disclaimers, however. She drops a couple of F bombs (sharing her self-loathing thoughts)...and she refers to God with more of a "Twelve Stepper" mentality, so you really have to replace the generality with which she speaks of God with your own beliefs about Him. I didn't find this hard to do, however. It should also be said that there is nothing particularly exclusive to women in this book...other than maybe we struggle with the concepts more? I'm guessing the author chose the title because People, Food and God just didn't sound as sexy.}

Vegan Sushi?

Had lunch with friend Molly at Hama Sushi the other day. I was kind of worried about being able to stick to my animal-free 30 days...but no worries!


I had the cucumber roll and umeshisomaki. Ume is plum in Japanese (which is generally made into plum pickles...umeboshe, and is considered essential for good health)...and the green leaf (inside the roll) is shiso*. They both have very strong flavors, that you either really like...or not at all. I like them a lot...in small doses (about half this size, so I took the rest home).



Don't you love the wasabi "leaves"? It's all about the presentation.

We also shared some California rolls made with just veggies, but they were delivered later and I forgot to take a pic. All of it was yummy!

(Trivia: Until a few years ago, I thought that the word "sushi" referred to the raw fish. I thought that to be authentic, then...it had to be raw, therefore I referred to California rolls as "fake" sushi. Then I learned that sushi actually refers to the way the rice is prepared (with sugar and vinegar), so anything goes, and it's still sushi!)

*Shiso is grown as a crop and used in Japanese, Korean and Vietnamese cooking. It's a member of the mint family and has a strong, mediciney flavor. In North America, it's considered an invasive weed. Tomayto, tomahto, I guess!

Girls' Camp 2010

Well, it's that time of year again. Coree is all packed and ready for Girls' Camp. Thanks to ME she's packed. The convo went something like this:

Me: Are you all packed?

Coree: uhh-huuhhh

Me: Do you have your mess kit?

Coree: I couldn't find one.

Me: It's in your closet. Do you have a jacket?

Coree: I won't need one.

Me: It's going to RAIN and it's on the list! I thought you said you were all packed?

You get the idea.



She wouldn't even stop to pose for a pic (shocker).



This was as much as I got from her.



All the campers in the district met for a group pic before heading up to the Japanese camp ground. Coree is on the left side in the yellow shirt.

One of the leaders was sweet enough to share these pics with me:


The theme was "Go For the Gold: Spring Olympics 2010" and the girls participated in several "Olympic" events. Here Coree is fastening her bicycle helmet to lead her team to victory.



They also learned valuable skills, like first aid and CPR.



Here she is participating in a team/trust building exercise.



Cliff went up one of the nights to provide Priesthood coverage, and they utilized him in all sorts of ways, from heavy lifting, to setting up the land navigation course to teaching the girls about perseverance, (using a quote from a favorite talk of ours by Elder {General} Carlson at last year's Chaplains' Conference) "The tougher it is, the more we like it." This was a very timely message, as much of the week was spent suffering through the torrential rains.

What a special group of girls and leaders! I'm so glad that Coree has this unique experience here.

Castle Ruins and Haunted Hotel

Cliff has "use or lose" leave...so he decided to use some over Spring break...which came in WAY handy with all the driving around we had to do...AND he was able to go spend a night at Girls Camp to provide some of the Priesthood coverage they needed. He did end up having to work a day and a half of his leave, though. (He's over Chaplain training for the island and there was one already scheduled right in the middle of the week...so he was on the hook...grrr!)

Anyway, in spite of all this...and the week's strong penchant for rain...we were determined that some of this leave would actually be used for vacationish purposes.

So, today we went here:


Yes...back to the castle ruins. Patrick had play practice and Coree was still at Girls Camp...but they had already been, anyway. Jake was eager to go, and Troy was at least willing (even though he was really itching to get on his chemistry homework).



We stopped by Family Mart to get a picnic lunch on the way. Jake loves these sushi logs.



Troy enjoys a spaghetti bento with eggs.



And Cliff chose this sushi/taco-rice mashup.



And I enjoyed just watching Cliff...



Mmmm....where was I? Oh yeah...



I had this lovely salad (yes, they put corn on everything here...even pizza), an onigiri with tuna inside and (of course) chocolate sponge cake. (I shared.)



The atmosphere this time was a lot different. There was a huge school group (they were lots of fun to watch)...



And a large tour group as well.



I hadn't noticed this relief map before.



This is how it looked back in the day.



Weird, blurred spot next to Jake's foot on the left side. Could it be?



I didn't go down to the well last time, either...but Jake really wanted to (of course).



Yep. It's water.



A lot of my pictures had these blurred spots today. Hmmm...what do you think? Thumbprints on the camera...or could it be...?!



I just love the plant life on these rocks.



See the blurred spot to the right? I'm just sayin'! ;^)



Best.tour.guide.ever!



The rarely seen photo of the photographer.



Love this bright little guy...wonder what he'll turn into?



There's the haunted hotel in the distance. We'll be getting a closer look later.

Don't know the story? Read a little about it here.


I love this man. Eighteen years, baby!



So Jake takes off ahead of us, and when we catch up, this is what we find...



He's overturned a rock and found a nest of centipedes (enlarge the photo and be amazed).



So here we are, standing just over the edge of the castle ruins site, in front of the haunted hotel. We thought it was off limits, but we noticed the tour group hiking up the hill and figure we'd give it a try ourselves.



I just barely got this shot as these guys sped by. Wish I could have captured it on video so you could hear their squeals, too.

(Trivia: While Japan also has child restraint laws like the US and other countries, they are fairly recent, and on Okinawa, rarely obeyed (at least by the locals). Ignorance is bliss, I suppose...but I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing toddlers climbing on the dashboard or hovering over their parent who is driving the car. Mind blowing.)



Oh, I can tell this place is going to feed my roof fetish already.



Wow, the plant life has really taken over!



Jake is standing in front of one of the ancient burial tombs which made this place haunted to begin with.



Some of this graffiti is amazing. Someone in our party supposed it was the influence of evil spirits on the artists. I supposed it was something the artist ingested. Just sayin'.



Either way...disturbing.



Remember my roof fetish? Maybe I'm the only one who likes this photo...but I really like it!

We survived to post these pictures here. Just the same, you would NEVER catch me here at night. Or on Halloween. Or Friday the 13th. Or after a zombie movie. Wait...I'm not superstitious...and I don't watch zombie movies. But just to be on the safe side...

Flashback Friday...Just-in-time

I found this picture while looking for another. Justin had asked me if I had a baby picture of him for a baby shower weeks ago, but I found it too late.

Since this baby just had his first baby...I thought I'd feature him here today. (Even though I know I have TWO brothers and I've already posted about Justin. What can I say, I love Jimmy, too...but it's all about the timing!)

I was just shopping for a gift for a friend of mine. When I walked in and started perusing the Kokeshi doll selection, I couldn't help but overhear a conversation the only two other people in the store were having. A customer was recounting the story of her newly discovered pregnancy to the cashier. She sounded bewildered as she told the story...like it still hadn't sunk in. Why was she less than beaming? Her oldest son is 15 and in high school (I knew I recognized her, although I don't know her) and her daughter is eleven. She's in her late thirties. I imagined myself in her position and thought, "Woah!"

She went on to tell the cashier (who I gathered this woman only knew casually) how her husband was so thrilled and wanted to tell everyone, but she wasn't ready. She's still trying to wrap her brain around it because she can't believe it's really happening.

I found what I wanted and made my way to the register. The woman apologized (for what I'm guessing was being in my way) and I said, "No...that's fine. Congratulations, by the way." She chuckled weakly and said, "Thanks...I guess you heard all that." I acknowledged I had...and all the sudden a realization hit me, and before I knew it, I was sharing it with this practical stranger.

I said, "I have two brothers, one older, one younger, and I was ten when my youngest was born...and he was the greatest gift. I helped to care for him, I always tried to spoil him as I got older...and a few days ago HE just had HIS first baby." (And here's where I started bawling in front of two women I've never met before...I HATE that about myself!) Her eyes started welling up with tears and she asked, "So you were close, then?" and I continued, "Very close. I always thought of him, worried about him, adored him...and even though I LOVE all my nieces and nephews, this one is different...and I think it's because I actually helped care for him as a baby. It's different when the one whose diapers you changed starts having his own babies. And it's just killing me that I can't be there to hold her."

So now she starts bawling, and tells me how her older two are so close, and how worried she was that her youngest would not have that...that the gap between them would be too wide. She said she felt so much better now and thanked me for sharing...and all three of us were crying now.

Some days, the randomness of life, doesn't feel so random. I think there was a reason I suddenly remembered I needed a Kokeshi doll. =^)

Spring Break Beach

Between Boy Scout camp and Young Women's camp, Spring break can seem like...well, not such a break. Since we weren't traveling anywhere, we wanted to at least do some other Spring Breakish things.


And what says Spring break like hanging out at the beach?



Of course, Patrick can't just go with the flow. No. That would be unsatisfying.



If there is something to climb, he must climb it.



And make sure everyone sees that he's done it.



In case you can't read his face, this is the part where the lifeguard told him to get down because he's not allowed in this area of the water. Jellyfish. Bummer.

{I wish I had video of the old Okinawan man who was motioning to me that there were jellyfish and I should make him come out. Only, I don't know the Japanese word for jellyfish. When this became annoyingly obvious to him, he did a little pantomime which consisted of his hand biting his forearm, placing his hand over his neck and pretending to die...complete with closed eyes, tongue hanging out and gagging sounds.} You are totally visualizing it, aren't you? Who needs You Tube?



Here they all are, safe behind the jellyfish nets.



Not a lot, but it's what we got.



Since they couldn't exactly swim laps in the kiddie pool of a swim-zone, they decided to have a boys vs. girls sand castle tournament. This is the boys' square kingdom...



And here's the girls' smiley face complete with moat...



And the girls posing with it.



And the boys' posing with theirs.



Now time to get all the sand rinsed off so we can go have lunch!



But not before some more cheesiness.



What an awesome group of kids.



And these three are all mine! (Jake=Boy Scout camp)



And Susan and Sarah.

(Alicia came unaccompanied as her mom was with the younger ones at the zoo. We rescued Alicia from a preschool play day. I think she was happy about that plan.)



We wandered down the street to this place for lunch.



I don't think they minded our apparel. At least that's what we told ourselves. ("It's by the beach...it's a beach cafe'...they are used to swimsuits and towels.") Either way, at least we have the clueless American alibi. Just sayin'.



Their specialty is pancakes.



And I can see why. Yowza!



I think Sarah helped everyone finish theirs. Where does she put it?



Troy getting ready to get his nom on.



Then we headed back to the parking lot. First Sarah had to take a call from her agent.



Spring Break 2010...We're doin' it right!