The Journey Begins

July 18, 2012

Our trip began how it always does...staying up half the night, getting all the laundry done.  Sweet Brenda not only got us to the airport in plenty of time, she agreed to take my birthday packages for Troy to the Post Office, since it was closed yesterday and I forgot.  

{And as if she didn't have enough to worry about, I came out to her van from the house after locking it up, said, "Here's the keys," and instead of placing Cliff's keys between the front seats of her van, like I intended, I slid them into the front pocket of my purse, where I keep my keys.  Only I had no idea what I had done, until we arrived at the hotel and I saw Brenda's email asking about the keys.  It's a good thing we overfilled the cat's food and left her two dishes of water.  It's also a good thing that Brenda has the patience of a saint.  Spending the afternoon at the housing office, jumping through hoops to get a duplicate key is not anyone's idea of a good time, I'm certain.}

Anyway, back to the airport...we got there with lots of time to spare, so in addition to grabbing breakfast at Starbucks, we decided to take advantage of the sticky-pic booth, conveniently located at our gate.  

What are sticky pics, you ask?  Well...it's like those photo booths outside of KMart that give you a strip of silly, black and white photo poses.  Only on steroids.  Because in Japan, you go BIG or go home.  We managed to squeeze the five of us into the booth, take some wild guesses at what buttons we should push (not being able to read Japanese), and hoped for the best. 

Funny, our pics didn't come out looking quite like this.  I wonder what's up?

After you are done with your photo shoot, you step out into the next booth to do your post-editing.  Again, taking wild guesses, unless you know your Kanji.  Then, while the machine speaks to you in (what else?) Japanese, you cross your fingers and pray she's not trying to tell you anything essential to obtaining your finished product, and that you didn't just waste 400 yen and 15 minutes you'll never get back.



About a minute later...this is what the machine spit out. 
(Click to enlarge.)
I'm thinking Christmas card pics, no?

Once we got on the plane, Patrick didn't take long to zonk out at all.

Neither did Jake.

 

Cliff chose to use the time to bone up on his leadership skills.

And I slept until it was time for refreshments.  And then I slept some more.  You know...just like at home.

Is it just me, or is it crazy that all airlines don't do their trays this way?  Like that little dent in the seat-back tray is going to do anything to save your beverage if you hit significant turbulence.  THIS is a cupholder, people!  But yet, I only see these on domestic, Japanese flights.  Hmmm.

In no time at all, we were in Tokyo, with very little time to make our connecting flight to LA.  But JUST enough time to slurp some Udon noodles.  Well, those of us with taste buds slurped Udon.  The rest ate McDonald's.  *Shudder*

We were all thrilled that Cliff took the time to upgrade all of us to Economy Plus the night before, for our longer flight.  Six inches may not seem like a big deal, but when it means the difference between having your knees jammed into the seat in front of you for ten hours, vs. being able to extend your legs, it's HUGE!

Doing The Right Thing

July 17, 2012

Grandpa Bill with Patrick, Baby Coree and Troy 1997

What a whirlwind week.  We received the news of Bill's passing, and it sent us on a roller coaster ride...both emotionally and logistically.  I've read somewhere, or heard it said (or maybe both) that grief is magnified when you've been estranged from a family member who passes away.  It sounded reasonable to me, but I never really gave it that much thought until I was watching my husband try to navigate through it.  I don't have anything to compare it with, since I've never lost an immediate family member (estranged or otherwise) but it makes sense.  It adds another whole dimension to the process.  Instead of looking back on fond memories and loving bonds, you have heartache and regret.  There is no closure.  The relationship won't be "fixed" in this life.  It drudges up old wounds...and the complexity of the situation makes casual conversation about the passing difficult...and unfortunately, since getting a family back to the USA from overseas to attend the funeral involves a ton of conversation, it wasn't always pleasant this week.  

We learned first hand that the less you say, the better.  A heart-felt, "I'm so sorry for your loss" is really all that's needed.  Sympathy cards are awesome.  Probing questions are not helpful.  I told Cliff the next time someone asked if he and his dad were "close," he needed to answer with, "No, but thank you for reminding me that my dad was an alcoholic who never really had the capacity to love me, who shut me out of his life, regardless of my attempts to reach him."  I know people mean well, and I'm certain I've said plenty of dumb things myself, but it was a lesson to me to try my best to think about the possible answers to the questions before asking them.  It hurt my heart SO much to listen to him try to field these kinds of remarks graciously.  On the flip-side, I appreciated SO much those who were so kind and reached out to him, encouraged him to go to the funeral, and bent over backward to make sure it happened (even though Cliff is covering three jobs this summer...which meant others would have to pick up lots of slack).

Anyway, for the first few hours after we got the news, we didn't even think we'd go back for the funeral.  We didn't know if there was going to be a funeral.  His dad's wife was completely bewildered, her sister was trying to help from Alaska, Cliff was trying to help from Japan.  It was just madness.  Because of the time difference, we were making lots of late night and early morning phone calls.  We were trying to figure out what family members could come and when, as well as the details of the arrangements, the obituary, travel, etc.  Most family members didn't think they'd be able to attend, but as the days went on, things started to come together.  Schedules were rearranged, hearts were softened, plans were made, and Cliff put together a funeral from across the ocean.  I was in awe.  It would have been easy to bow out.  In addition to all the other factors (which would cause most anyone to give him a "free pass" from involvement).....we live on the other side of the world, for Pete's sake!  But in spite of it all, he did the right thing, and poured his heart into the arrangements.  Even though his dad wasn't a member, the local LDS ward where his dad lived was so generous in offering their help.  We were overwhelmed by their kindness.

So, tomorrow we start our journey to make the best of things.  Will there be family drama?  Psshhh...we're counting on it.  But we're also counting on the healing that gathering with loved-ones will bring...with people we won't even have to say a word to, because they'll get what a giant, soup-sandwich the whole situation has been, and they will help share the emotional burden.  Most importantly, Cliff will do his best to honor his dad the best he can...and have no regrets about it.

Sobaya Chirugwa (Red Roof Soba)

We have been to (and blogged about) Sobaya Chirugwa before, but never knew its real name. We just always called it Red Roof Soba. We still do. It's easier. You can read our other posts about it here and here. (The kids look so much younger in just a couple of years time!)

Anyway, when we were in Hawaii, poor Jake just wanted to go "home." One day he asked me, "Mom...can we go eat at Red Roof Soba as a family as soon as possible when we get back? You know, to celebrate our return to Okinawa with authentic Okinawan food?" After all that kid had been through, of course I told him we would go ASAP. Well, we kind of forgot about it with all the other travel going on...and Jake reminded us a couple of times before last night.


We finally went, and it was worth the wait.



Coree likes to order the kids plate just to get one of those corn snacks on the left (like a single, giant cheeto with corn seasoning instead of cheese) that we could buy for ten cents at the grocery store. They never question her age, so we just go with it.



I kept looking around at everyone, trying my best to soak it all in.



We are definitely counting down the days we have left as an intact family unit as Troy prepares for his mission.



Coree is counting down the days until she can leave for college.



We ordered some gyoza to share. It is pretty good here. A little on the greasy side, so I only had one.



Then the soba started arriving. Nom, nom, nom.



Cliff, Troy and I ordered the (aptly named) Yummy Combo.



Because of the presentation, it actually looks bigger than it is...



But it is still a lot of food. Starting from the left, (bottom row) a grains-rice mixture, soba noodles with fish and pork; (middle row) a mixture of stewed root vegetables, tofu and a pig's foot, fish and vegetable tempura and dipping sauce; (top row) pickled seaweed and a cabbage and corn salad. I enjoy everything but the pig's foot. Troy eats that while I close my eyes.

Welcome home (late) Jake. We're glad you are back among your people.

Patrick Far East Music

So many "Far Easts" were canceled this year due to the nuclear crisis. (Equivalent to State or Regionals back in the USA.) Remember that exchange trip to Yoron Island that Jake participated in last year? That was canceled this year as well. It was all very sad for so many kids...most of them Japanese kids from the mainland.

Patrick was so relieved when they ended up rescheduling Far East Music after it had been canceled. We were thrilled he had the opportunity to go. It was in Korea...which is turning out to be the go-to destination for Far Easts lately. Something to do with the facilities at the Olympic Village being perfect for it.

Patrick didn't take many photos because "it gets tiring remembering to take them" (like this is even ABOUT what he wants or feels).



Which is just one more example of why I am grateful for Facebook's tagging feature. Thank you, Patrick's friends!

I am also grateful for YouTube. I know this is kind of long, but if you like voices that stir the soul, I recommend you watch it. They did a fabulous job. I think I can pick out Patrick's voice, but that's probably just a mom thing. You can see him toward the middle of the pack.



Now this is one that Patrick did manage to capture on his camera. It is hilarious! Not the girls rehearsing...they were adorable and talented. I'm talking about when Patrick pans the room and you see the row of guys with their cameras out and mouths hanging open. Not to mention his commentary. Ahhh, teenagers.



And I guess turnabout is fair play. Listen to those girls scream! Of course Patrick is the most animated one, in front with the Members Only jacket.

Bookclub!!!

Does belonging to a book club sound pretentious? How about one that reads the classics? Yeah, I kinda thought so too, but I don't care...these ladies are so awesome. It's not so much about reading the book (although that's kind of essential) it's about the insight you gain and share...and friendships you develop.

To tell you the truth, I'm not exactly sure how I ended up with an invite to this one...and by looking at us, it's not like we are super-homogenous...other than we're all Mormon. (OK...you're right, that does dictate a certain level of homogeneity right there.) But throw the Mormon thing out, and we are a diverse group of ages, backgrounds and places in life...and I love it! So much so, I imagine myself doing a screening for future members...

"What can you bring to the table? Oh, you are a feminist empty-nester with socialist leanings? No, we already have that one covered. Next..."
"Oh, you're a Southern, widowed teacher? Nope, that slot is filled too. Next!"
"A Latina mother of 5 who served a mission and is into sci-fi?" We've got one of those. Next..."
"Hot, single, blonde scuba instructor/detective who packs heat for her day job? Sorry, try again when ours moves."

I'm obviously just kidding (about excluding people who are too similar...not about the makeup of our group...those details do accurately describe some of our members). I know that everyone is not that one-dimensional, that we all have different perspectives to add, even when we are very similar otherwise...but do you get why I love this group so much?



We're not all pictured here, but I forgot to take more pics as others arrived.



But I did take pics of some of the food.


I should mention, this was part two of The Count of Monte Cristo. So naturally, French food was in order. Last month we had things such as Monte Cristo sandwiches and fancy French pastries. This time, Troy was AWESOME and made creme brulee for me. In two varieties...chocolate and regular. Everything was delicious.

While we ate amazing food, we had a very inspiring discussion on justice vs. mercy...including our experiences with forgiveness. Mostly how freeing it is to forgive. There was much laughter and tears, and at the end of the evening, I felt closer to all of them. Not to mention I was in awe at how brilliant we all are. I think we could have solved the world's problems right there in my living room.

If you are not a member of a bookclub, I would encourage you to find one, or start your own. Feel free to use my interview questions. You're welcome.

Mother's Day 2011

My family always treats me so wonderfully on Mother's Day. Sometimes too wonderfully. Cliff kind of overdid it last year, and I made him promise that this year he would reign it in. My favorite Mother's Day memories involve my kids taking the initiative to do everything on their own with their dad deployed (because he set such a good example while he was here). The gifts don't need to be extravagant.



We didn't do breakfast in bed this year. What can I say, I'm old and would rather have the extra sleep before church. But afterward, I got back into bed for the parade of gifts. I got a pretty good haul. Adding to the awesomeness, was having an 18 year old who can drive off base to take all the other kids shopping. Since Cliff got his gift while he was in the States, he didn't need to shop yesterday.

My favorite part was the cards. I love each of their unique messages. They are all such individual personalities. Some more sentimental, some hilariously dry. I love these kids. The gifts were great, too...



Two of my favorites from Jake. He knows me well.



And Troy knows he can never go wrong with a Yankee candle that smells like food. (No florals, ewww.)



I had just been eying this at the BX the other day. Patrick and Coree went in on it. Yussss!



But this one...Cliff went above and beyond.



Do you recognize that glorious crosshatch design? That's right...it's my favorite Dark Chocolate Key Lime truffle from Godiva. Never have I seen so many in one place. Thank you Fashion Valley Godiva for carrying my favorite flavor all by itself. No other flavor compares, anyway...it's all second best.

The question is, how long can I stretch this out? One a day? One a week? One an hour? And do I share? I'm leaning toward 'heck no' but would that be very motherly of me? On second thought, kids are happy with Hershey's for crying out loud...can their palates really appreciate such chocolate grandeur? I think not. Cliff, however...can have as many as he wants.

I will love that man forever, and not just because he brings chocolate. Happy Mother's Day, everyone!

Mama Don't Cook Concert

The choir director at Kubasaki High is a genius. First of all, he also coaches football, allowing him direct access to recruit much-needed male voices. Secondly, he fundraises in this manner: About three times a year, he puts on a dinner performance. He gets donations of food to put on the dinner (from parents) and "requires" students to sell tickets equivalent to the number in their family. Parents don't want their kids to think they are total losers want to hear their kids sing, so they pay $15 a pop to eat the donated food cooked and served by the culinary arts program. Oh, did I mention his wife is in charge of the culinary arts program? Genius, I tell you.


"Mama Don't Cook" is one of those concerts. (Can you imagine my "Mother of the Year" nomination for skipping out on a concert just for MOMS?! Calculating, that man is.)



This year I had two children in the combined choir, Patrick in show choir and Coree in advanced choir.



We all enjoyed our dinner...theirs steak and mine salmon. (It wasn't too bad, although it is really hard to do fish on a large scale. It just dries out too easily.) I got bonus flowers, though.



Once the show started, I had to move up and over to the side to get a good camera angle. I was able to keep both of them in the shot most of the time.



They did a great job, especially considering three choirs (that practice separately) were combined into one, and they were in such a confined space for so many of them.

I included a couple of samples here (mostly for grandparents). Hope you enjoy it as much as I did...and it's FREE for you!



50's Medley



What a Feelin'

All this travel is getting old...

I know, it's fun to travel...and normally I love it. Looking back at the past couple of months (and the next few to come) makes me tired, though.

I mentioned Cliff had a conference to go to (in San Diego). Even though I've hated having him away (especially after being gone myself) I am so glad he is having some (relative) down time. This is no boondoggle (it's a combat operational stress conference) but he will get to spend time with some good colleagues, and afterward he tacked on a few days of leave to see good friends.

He made sure to eat at Rubio's for me. And of course he hit In N Out Burger. (Not that we are starved for good restaurants here, but there are just certain American favorites you've gotta get while the gettin's good!) He says he misses me and hated being alone in the hotel (yeah, what's he going to say?!) but hopefully he's taking advantage of the serenity.

I shamelessly stole these photos off of his friend Dave's Facebook page:


These guys all graduated high school together. Cliff, Dave and Gerry. Dave's mom kept Cliff fed consistently as a young man (their nickname for him was "Pobrecito"). I impressed Gerry early on with my tongue-cherry-stem-tying trick. They both gave Cliff the "thumbs up" after Cliff's idea for our fourth date was a Steven Seagal film festival with all of his buddies at his place. Hey, at least they let me have the bean bag. (And in all fairness, our second date was a Tupperware party at my place.) They are good guys and I'm glad Cliff got to spend some rare time with them.



They even went back to their alma mater.



Can you believe a high school in Anaheim, California lets a couple of middle-aged men just wander around the campus? Apparently, there was a basketball game going on. I'm sure they just thought they were a couple of dads, hehe.



He also got to see Sterling (no pics, though) and Sterling's parents, Bob and Gretchen. We love them so much...they are just golden people. I'm totally jealous he got to spend time with them, hopefully it will be my turn soon.

OK, honey...enough fun now, COME HOME!

Easter Traditions 2011

Easter was really late this year...and it's a good thing, too. It gave Jake and I a chance to get home to enjoy it with the family.


Flashing gang signs while waiting for the hunt.



Jake was worried how he was going to find his basket on crutches, so I went easy on him. Turns out the shoe basket was too easy. He found his first.



Coree was next...clever girl.



I'm pretty sure we do the dryer every year. 25% chance you'll find yours there.



Patrick over-thought his. Not that we haven't done the dishwasher, but he was climbing on counters and being ridiculous.



The coat closet was the last place he looked. OK, well...I guess that's true for any place you hide it.



Cliff was thrilled to learn he had a surprise Easter basket and hunted enthusiastically.



Charlotte was hoping for Whiskas. Bummer.



He was a little sheepish that he hadn't gotten me anything...



He needn't be. I was prepared with two of everything. ;^)



Easter basket hunt 2011: Success. Notice the utilitarian baskets? I got rid of the Easter baskets. They took up too much space. These work just fine and are useful more than one day a year.

Next on the agenda? The Jerusalem dinner! Here's some of what was on the menu this year:

lamb and barley
mustard glazed rack of lamb
flat bread
hummus
nuts and dried fruits
asst. cheeses and olives
grape juice

And since we didn't get any honeycomb from my dad this year, Honeycombs will have to do.

This is what it looked like.



The rack of lamb was new this year and it was a huge hit.



Even Coree ate some!



It was so awesome to sit around and listen to everyone rave about how this is their favorite tradition. You know, we try different things, and some stick and some don't...but I'm glad this one did. We don't do everything perfectly, we don't do near as much as some people...but I love the memories we've created...and I love this family so much.



And this guy? He's my hands-down favorite. I couldn't have done it without him.