18 years ago, at 1:38 AM, I began my journey into motherhood. Childbirth is a miraculous experience every time, of course...but the first time...the first time, it is completely surreal. By the time you get to this point, you have listened to heartbeats, felt flutters strengthen into kicks, maybe even spent sleepless nights counting movements or worrying about test results...or maybe (like me), spent months on bed rest with round-the-clock meds, trying to keep the contractions at bay so he can cook as long as possible. But this moment...the moment you see that this is an actual person that's been living inside of you...it blows your mind on so many levels.
I honestly don't know what I expected...all I know is I was completely unprepared for what I would see and feel. I can recall perfectly the moment I laid eyes on Troy. I remember his crying and flailing...and my screaming, "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" over and over again, in between sobs of joy, while unable to take my eyes off of him. He was a real person. He was mine. And he was safe and healthy.
Without going into all the {Nurse Ratched} details, let's just say that I left the hospital diffident, completely unprepared, and scared out of my mind.
{"That's it?! So they are just going to let me walk out of here with him?!?! Don't they know I don't have a clue what to do?!"}
But we figured it out together...and he's survived for 18 years (so far).
As seems to be the tradition for the kids' birthdays in 2010, I present to you...18 random memories of Troy (in no particular order) for his 18th birthday:
(1) Birth story in a nutshell: Troy was born 3 weeks early and was the smallest of our four children, weighing 7 lbs. 8 oz. I had been on bedrest since going into labor at 23 weeks. Within 24 hours of going off of the meds to stop labor (with the Dr.'s approval, of course) he was born....almost on my mom's birthday (an hour and a half too late). At least we tried. Incidentally, Troy hates being late to this day and would be early for everything if it was under his control.
(2) When Troy was eight months old, I had to go to Field Medical Service School for ten weeks at Camp Pendleton...about an hour from where we were stationed at MCAS El Toro. This meant Cliff had full-time, Mr. Mom duty...as I was mostly only able to come home on weekends. As hard as this was, Cliff and Troy's bond was greatly increased, and Cliff gained first-hand appreciation for what it is like to fly solo with the childcare. I remember coming home on weekends, getting instruction from my husband on what Troy liked and didn't:
Cliff {in response to hearing Troy's wails}: "What's wrong?"
Me: "I took away (fill in the blank here with something he shouldn't have been playing with)."
Cliff {in a slightly-testy, superior, "duh" kind of voice usually reserved for wives addressing their husbands on child-related matters}: "Well did you trade him?! He only likes to trade. Here... {handing me an Ernie doll} you should have traded him for this."
Me: "Well, Excuuuuse me!" {In my head. Hehe.....heh.}
(3) Troy was the size of a 3 year old at 12 months. We used to get all kinds of football references when we'd take him out (funny how that eventually came true). He just kept growing. He was the size of some five year olds at age two. Once some boys at the park asked me why he talked so funny. When I replied, "Because he's two", their eyes bugged out and their mouths fell open.
(4) When Troy was 15 months, we moved to Joliet, IL. Our house was situated between a triangle of freeway intersections, which we could cover in about a 15 minute loop. We took an almost nightly ride just so that Troy could look at the semi-trucks out the window. He called them "bocks" and would just repeat, "Ooooh, BOCK!" over and over...the whole ride. It was such a simple pleasure.
(5) Troy used to LOVE having the same ten books read to him over.and.over. I used to have fantasies about hiding them from him for a day. Now I love to reminisce about reading "Are You My Mother?" and "Ten Apples Up On Top". He has always devoured books and now I am grateful for his early addiction.
(6) Troy LOVED Thomas the Tank Engine. But I was too cheap to buy the videos. I used to put in a blank VHS tape and record the little 5 minute segments off of "Shining Time Station" on PBS. I seriously collected about 4 hours worth of those segments. Whenever he had a babysitter, that tape HAD to go with him. He used to carry a train in each hand. He wasn't picky about which, just as long as he had one for each hand.
(7) Troy's first Disney movie obsession was The Lion King. When he was 3ish, he used to put it in the VCR first thing in the morning. Some days, he'd watch it 2 or 3 times. He had a Simba that roared when you squeezed it, and he took that everywhere, too. He'd randomly share lines from the movie. "Yeenas...in the problem" [Hyenas...in the pride land]
(8) Troy did not dance as a baby, like (I think) most babies do. He really didn't care for music much. This really concerned me. There was a show called "Kid Songs" on PBS that was just part of the all-day, background-noise PBS-fest that was our preschool life. There was one song that would stop Troy in his tracks every time, though. "Ten in a Bed." Troy would stop whatever he was doing and run to the TV and laugh hysterically when they "all rolled over and one fell out." That is one of my favorite memories...listening to that laughter.
(9) I think Cliff's favorite baby memory of Troy is taking him out to the backyard while he did yard work. All Troy did was sit and hold the hose, but he loved being outside and made the cutest sounds, while Cliff beamed with pride at his beautiful boy.
(10) When we lived in Oceanside and Troy was about 5, we were on an outing to the Wild Animal Park with friends, who had a daughter (Molly) Troy's age. We parents were lagging behind, talking...when suddenly Troy looked at Molly walking next to him, and slid his arm around her shoulder. They continued walking like that all the way to the safari ride, while the adults stifled laughter behind them.
(11) Troy's Kindergarten teacher asked the class one day if anyone knew what gravity was. The rest of the children were silent, Troy raised his hand and proceeded to give the teacher a pretty textbook answer, completely blowing her mind in the process. Ours, too. We had no idea what he was staying up late reading.
(12) Troy entered Kinder through 2nd having passed both beginning and ending assessments for the year. His 1st grade teacher was convinced he could read and understand her college textbooks. At the same time, when asked how old he was, he would hold up his fingers to answer. He was a very young Kindergartener (his bday makes the deadline by just 2 weeks in most places) but we could not see keeping him back another year, when he was really working at least 2 grades ahead. Still, he now tells us he wishes we would have kept him back so he could have had another year to play football at Kubasaki. Priorities.
(13) I swore we would never have a video game system in our home. (I also swore we'd never own a second TV. Ha!) But secretly, I loved watching a 4 year old Troy get so excited while learning to play Super Nintendo's Star Wars under his dad's skillful tutelage. SNES was followed by Sega, Nintendo 64, Gameboys of every variety, Wii, Xbox 360, etc. It's funny when real life meets the things a young mom swears she will "never".
(14) While at the beach one day (my mom was visiting) when Troy was in 3rd grade, he kept telling me he couldn't close his eye all the way. I remember thinking, "Yah, right...you're fine!" When he persisted, I took a look. He blinked and only one eye closed. I told him to smile and only one side of his mouth moved. I instantly thought, "brain tumor, stroke, etc." while I packed everyone back in the van and we headed to the hospital. Turns out, he had bells palsy (very rare in children) and got to wear a very cool pirate eye patch to school while waiting for the problem to resolve. This, after a string of other bizarre maladies, led our Dr. to refer to our family as a "treasure chest of pathology". Thanks. We think.
(15) One day when Troy was around 7, I was sitting at the computer and heard him put something into the microwave and start it (no biggie). About 20 seconds later he commented, "I'm going to try my peanut butter spoon heated up." It took about 3 seconds for what he said to register...then, jumping out of my chair without saying a word, I jumped across the counter, ripped the microwave open (sparks flying), grabbed the searing-hot spoon and threw it into the sink. Evidently, we had never had the 'no metal in the microwave' discussion before that day.
(16) Troy has loved Patrick since day one. Two peas in a pod, I tell you. Even when 19 m.o. Troy bounced his cup off of newborn Patrick's head out of frustration when he couldn't have juice RIGHT NOW and it was Patrick's fault. Patrick made up for it by serving as a really cool surfboard for Troy when Mom and Dad weren't looking.
(17) When Troy was about 3 1/2 (old enough to know better), while mom was occupied with something else, he decided to help himself to some more juice from the fridge...which he spilled. Then, for good measure...decided to break some eggs, smear some butter and in general make a ginormous mess...with Patrick serving as accomplice. I forced them both to clean up the mess, and Troy gagged the whole time he was doing it. Funny how making the mess didn't induce gagging, though.
(18) When Troy was a baby, he used to wake up in the best mood every morning. He would babble and laugh while looking at himself in the mirror of the 'busy box' hanging on the side of his crib. Then he'd bounce on the mattress and rattle the crib rails while jabbering loudly. He was so big, we thought he'd shake the whole thing down some days...but Cliff and I would just crack up listening to his racket. I think this is my favorite memory of Troy. As he got older, he became way more subdued, and only those of us really close to him get to see this playful side.
I really do remember that playful baby like it was yesterday...and in the blink of an eye, he's a man. I'm so proud of the man he has become. So grateful to be his mom. So excited for whatever his bright future holds. Happy birthday, Troy...I love you, man!
