Unexpectedly Japanesey

Before moving to Okinawa, Japan...I had my ideas about what things I would encounter. Most of those ideas came from the movies...a few from people who had lived here before. But mostly those people talk about how much you'll love it, or sites to see, etc. Nobody really talks about the little things that are part of the picture.

The idea for this post came as I was standing waiting for a woman to arrange this bouquet of lilies:


I bought at my favorite flower place:


When you buy unarranged flowers from a florist, you can specify whether you'd just like them wrapped in newspaper (to take home for yourself) or wrapped more attractively (for a gift) for a tiny extra charge. I was bringing them to a friend for her birthday, so I opted for the wrapping. I was watching her tape, tape and re-tape the bouquet with each twist of the cellophane or addition of a ribbon, and I thought, "Man they use a lot of tape here." Really, a lot of wrapping in general.

While it's traditional to bring your own shopping bags to the grocery store (some will charge you for their flimsy plastic bags if you don't bring your own) almost every single item I purchase gets it's own plastic wrapping from the cashier...and each of those she securely tapes shut. If I've opted for one of their bags to carry it in...that gets taped shut, too...whether you are at the grocery store, a bakery, a hardware store or the 100 Yen store...there's a whole lotta tape! I don't think I remember standing at even one register equipped with its own dispenser of tape in the USA. Here, every employee has her own roll, I'm certain of it.



Running. Short distances or long...in heels or sneaks...whether you really need to hurry, or just want to appear to be earnest...there is running involved. It's like boot camp all over the place. (Trivia: In boot camp you are not allowed to walk anywhere. You must "double time" between points A and B. You are also not allowed to sit on any furniture...but I digress.)



Mayonnaise. I am serious. These people LOVE them some mayonnaise! (Maybe THAT'S why they run everywhere.) It's on sushi, burgers, sandwiches, slathered on deep-fried chicken cutlets...you name it...and LOTS of it. (Ugh!) When we were fairly new to the island, we ate at McDonald's just for the experience. It goes without saying, I was NOT expecting my teriyaki burger to be oozing mayo all over the place. (And yes, I bought this one just for the picture. Jake would only eat it after I wiped all the mayo off.)


Cellphone charms. These are mine. My collection is modest. I started with the Shisa-riding teddybear, then I won the beaded Hello Kitty, purchased a can of Pringles just for the Pringle charm...and a friend gave me Anpanman for my birthday. It's not uncommon to see an Okinawan with a softball-sized bulge in his/her pocket or purse from a collection of charms.

Since I'm already thinking of several others (but want to be done for now) I think this might be another recurring post...Stay tuned!

Stuart Shenanigans

Can you tell what is happening here?



These are pictures of my children cleaning up...and doing it cooperatively!
(Wow, this Summer is some magic stuff!)



They don't even know I'm photographing them (teehee).



It turns out, they are determined to do something epic every day this Summer. They are doing pretty well so far. Last night, they bought some junk food at the shopette, hauled Coree's laptop to the roof (along with an extension cord and surge strip) and watched a movie...then slept up there. (At least that was the plan. Coree chickened out on the sleeping part, though. That's OK.) Then this morning, they cleaned it all up!



Later that morning, I found Jake listening to some newly purchased grunge on his iTunes. Wearing a grungesque beanie. What is happening to my baby?! Blame it on Guitar Hero...I tell ya!

Father's Day Fun

(The third in a series of Cliff posts, in what we have come to know as "Golden Week" in the Stuart household...the week which contains Cliff's birthday, our anniversary and Father's Day each year.)


Any day we get to honor this man is a great day...but this year Father's Day kind of snuck up on me. To tell you the truth, I was absolutely spent after graduation and the end of the school year. Completely. Done. So much so that I thought we had another week. I didn't mail out any cards, and found myself shopping on Saturday night, in between commitments.



Lucky for us, our District Conference was scheduled for today's church, at 1 PM instead of our usual 9 AM...which meant we had plenty of time for breakfast...



But we waited until afterward to shower him with the gifts and cards.



He really wanted very little...car seat covers (that would match O'Malley's green) and a car CD holder. That was it. Could I find those things on this island? Not easily. Every set of covers I came across was totally, completely lame. I was getting very frustrated (on top of only having 2.5 hours to shop) and almost gave up. I was at the gas station on Kadena AFB (which two people told me would have what I was looking for) and they had the same stupid stuff everyone else did. Then, I lifted up a plastic package of lameness, and underneath...I saw them:


Can you believe it? It's like they were made for O'Malley...and the Imperial Stuarts.



I never did find the kind of CD holder he wanted...but I did find a bunch of other car stuff (an emergency kit, an organizer, etc.) and this really cute golf shirt...and notice the bonus Godiva? Godiva makes up for everything.

For dinner, we had grilled tenderloin steak, corn on the cob and a fabulous salad (if I do say so myself) with cherry cobbler for dessert...followed by a few raging rounds of Apples to Apples. Neighbor Dave was our guest, as his family is in the States for the Summer.

A fabulous, relaxing, drama-free day...just the way it should be.

Good things come in small packages...

(To put this in perspective...Coree is 5'2")


Having Tomikosan in our home every two weeks is one of my favorite parts of living on Okinawa. I can't explain it entirely...it just feels so wonderful to have her there...and not just because she irons like none other. She speaks very little English...I speak even less Japanese...but we manage to communicate somehow. We don't need to say much. Mostly we share a little small talk (very small) over lunch. I know she loves salmon or tuna sushi, tuna or turkey sandwiches on wheat bread, any kind of vegetables (especially salad)...and she can't eat noodles. I won't forget this again. Serving her soup with noodles for the SECOND time cemented that one in my mind. (I hate serving people stuff they don't like or can't eat. Almost as much as I hate forgetting things.)

I am so intimidated to speak to people in Japanese. I manage with the stuff we have to use every day (good morning, thank you, excuse me, I'm sorry) but past that...I'm a total chicken. Maybe it's because we all hear the horror stories of Japanese words with such subtle differences that how long you hold the "o" or the "i" completely changes the meaning in embarrassing ways. One slip and you are telling someone their baby is scary when you meant cute.

Being able to learn more about Tomikosan's life would be a huge motivator to put myself out there, though. And she just might be able to provide the practice I'm needing. By the way, she is in her 70s. Can you feature that? At first I was uncomfortable with the situation...how lazy am I to be making a 70 year old woman clean my bathrooms?! But to keep it in perspective, she's like my age in Okinawan years...and I have to remember...she found me, and she needs the work. At the same time, I do make sure we get everything picked up so she's not having to bend over too much. Anyone else out there clean before their housekeeper comes?

Flashback Friday...The Black Pearl

Hawaiian Honeymoon, 1991

Get a load of those BABIES! Oh my goodness, do we look like we're going to prom (if even that) or what?

That was 19 years ago. Nineteen. It's hard to believe we've been doing this for 19 years. I still feel like the luckiest girl on the planet. As much as I loved him then, I can honestly say I love him a million times more now.

We have some good friends in Carlsbad, CA. He's our dentist actually...but first he was our Bishop at church.

(Trivia: For those of you who don't know how a Bishop could be a dentist or vice versa...that's because we don't have professional/paid clergy in our church...everyone does their part to make the Church run...and everyone also has a day job. For those of you who read "he was our Bishop and now he's our dentist" and think "DUH! Aren't all Bishops dentists?"...you must be Mormon, too!)

Anyhoo, I remember having a conversation one night with this friend and she was recounting how her student-husband (then boyfriend) worked at a carwash and had to borrow the money from his parents for her engagement ring when he wanted to ask her to marry him. Her parents were none too thrilled with this prospect. She was reflecting back that no wonder they were devastated, no wonder they had their doubts...he worked at a carwash, for crying out loud! But he was finishing up college and applying for dental school. She was almost done with nursing school. They had their future mapped out...but to the outside world, it seemed like a huge gamble. I only had the benefit of meeting them more than a dozen years and four kids later...with lots of years of successful business and Church service behind them. I could look back and say, "Well, duh! Everyone should have been able to see their bright future!"

But so it was with Cliff and I. He was just finishing college...I was just starting. I had two years of military service, he was only in the reserves while attending college. Each of us had roommates to make ends meet. Cliff sold guns and fishing poles when he wasn't on campus. I was an E-4 in the Navy. I had just come back to the Church, Cliff didn't have any church affiliation. He was so skinny, a weight loss from illness was liable to put him in the hospital. I was...well...MUCH skinnier, anyway. What the heck did we know about life?

I'll tell you what I knew. I knew he was unlike any other man I had ever dated. Ever. I dated a LOT...both members of my Church and not. Military and civilian. I knew I did not want to marry the Mormon "resume." I had seen enough of that in my life to know it wasn't a guarantee of anything. I knew that if I got married, it would be to someone good and genuine, inside and out. How would I know what that looked like? Easy. I knew what it didn't look like.

I'm just being flippant, actually...I didn't know what that would look like. But I knew enough that when I dated yet another superficial, self-centered guy I met at a Southern California "singles" Church activity, I could cross him off the list. Or when I met yet another Marine whose idea of the perfect day was four hours at the gym followed by a night of drinking with the guys...he didn't get another look.

(Trivia: While this was happening...Cliff was contemplating moving to Texas to find a wife. Yes, Texas. I've never been to Texas before, but he had this theory that all the women in So Cal were too shallow and self absorbed to make a good companion...but that Texas seemed like it would have more down-to-earth women. I am just grateful he went with plan "B"...which was to date as many women as possible in his own area...which is how he came to ask me out. And yes, we are both from Southern California, and I realize I'm stereotyping...but stereotypes become that way for a reason. Just sayin'.)

Maybe I'll share the full story for our 20th...but for now, this is already getting too long. I'll just sum it up by saying, the first date we went on, I was absolutely spell-bound. It was the best (and cheapest) date I had ever been on...and I knew that he was something special. Because of the car he drove or the wads of cash he was pulling in? Because of his advanced degrees or his family connections? Because of his smokin' hot, "pumped up" body? (Did I mention how skinny he was?) None of that.

It was because Clifford Stuart is THE MOST GOOD man I have ever met. The GOODest. The most selfless, genuine, overcomer-of-adversity I have ever known. It still blows my mind to see him in action every day as a father, a husband, a friend, or a chaplain. I don't know what I ever did to deserve to be his wife, but I am just grateful. Is he perfect? No. He struggles with patience and balancing priorities (just like me). But he constantly re-evaluates and continually tries harder to do better for his family...and is such an example to me to keep trying.

This was not the direction I intended to go with this post, but it just sort of developed (as did the tears streaming down my face as I type this). The story I was going to tell was about our honeymoon. We were nearly broke after paying for our wedding. We weren't even going to have a honeymoon. But Cliff's best friend's parents (Hi Bob and Gretchen...we love you!) decided we HAD to have a honeymoon. They bought us plane tickets to Hawaii, and we made hotel reservations at the Hale Koa (the military resort, which shares a beach with the Hilton Hawaiian Village) at a rate of $54 a night (based on my E-4 rank) for a week of pure bliss. We arrived with our mismatched luggage and no itinerary, except to sleep in every morning as late as possible. This we did, just ducking into the cafe in time for a macadamia nut waffle before they stopped serving breakfast.

I don't remember much of what we did and saw, but I know we did go shopping at the International Market Place. We stopped at one of those stands where you can buy an oyster to open (which has a pearl inside, you just don't know what kind). Ours contained a lovely, rare black pearl. While we considered our good fortune, we didn't bother to think about "the catch". They get you, by counting on the fact that you will pay for the setting. And pay, we did. Did we buy just a pendant? No. They made sure to show the honeymoooners the gold ring with maile leaves (leaves made into leis for the traditional royal Hawaiian wedding ceremony) with small diamonds which would perfectly caress our black pearl. Hook. Line. And sinker.

As we got back to our normal lives with the rest of the working people, I still had my ring as a daily reminder of the amazing, care-free week we had together. As we added four babies to the mix, on particularly rough days...when we'd have a moment to connect in all the chaos, Cliff would often say, "Remember the macadamia nut waffles?" And that was all it took to bring me back to the days.

Well, I had no idea how to care for pearls properly. Actually, I probably heard they were delicate and needed to be treated accordingly, but I would be darned if I wasn't going to bring my little piece of honeymoon everywhere I went. Always. About ten years ago, that caught up with me. The pearl's sheen started to disintegrate...probably from contact with vinegar. Or cleaning products. This is what happens where honeymoon meets real life. I was so remorseful. I put it away, hoping it could be fixed somehow...and forgot about it.

Until we got to Okinawa, that is. I suggested that we might replace the pearl while we are here, and handed the ring over to Cliff. Yesterday, while on our anniversary lunch date (over Hawaiian food, no less) Cliff gave me back my new and improved honeymoon ring, accompanied by a very sweet speech that I will not share here, but hold close to my heart. (I barely squeezed it onto my finger, and it may not come off again.)



The hands aren't nearly as youthful, but oh, they could tell you some stories! Were we crazy to think we could pull this off? Looking around at the odds, probably. We didn't have two nickles to rub together...and on the way home from that honeymoon, we literally spent our last $40 on the shuttle ride home from the airport. But what we lacked in material security...we have since made up for in a wealth of shared adversity, experience and small victories...which have become the mortar to the bricks of our relationship.

And for our twentieth? Cliff also surprised me with reservations for the Hale Koa next year. The price has more than quadrupled in twenty years (having something to do with the O-4 vs. E-4 rate, too, I'm sure) but I think after twenty years, it will be worth every penny. Bring on the macadamia nut waffles!

Last Day of School (of Rock!)

My kids are crazy. I forgot to mention last night, I came home and this is what I found on the dining room table.


Yes, Jake has several Kritter Keepers at his disposal...but they are intended for beetles and lizards. Maybe an occasional praying mantis. But a full-size crab? Really?! In case the scale of this thing doesn't register...that is the largest size cage. This guy is big! There are 4 or 5 smaller ones in here, too. (Mental note: Keep Jake away from those inlet canals. Seriously!)



Speaking of crazy...Jake decided he wanted to go all Angus Young for the last day of school. My children are nothing if not individuals.



Speaking of individuals...Patrick wore spandex pants. All. day. long. No, they are not pictured here. I made him put some real pants on. LOVE this picture, though. Can you guess how he did this? No, he did not jump off the roof (he wanted to, but I stopped him). He ran toward the wall, jumped with his feet toward it, hitting the wall and bouncing off while turning around to strike this pose. Pretty cool, no?

Happy Summer, everyone!

Molly's Farewell or "Ladies Who Rock!"

This is my favorite kind of farewell. The kind where you say goodbye to someone because her husband is leaving your unit...but they are still staying on the island because his new job is here.

Molly's husband will no longer be our commanding officer (his two years are up), which is sad...but I'm so grateful she'll be sticking around for awhile. We spent this lovely evening to celebrate her and her graciousness and generosity. Kelly did a great job organizing it all, and even found the perfect gift for us to give. As an added bonus, we now have another awesome sushi place to add to our list. I must drive by this place several times a week but never noticed it. It's set back off the road a little...but it has a big metal horse statue out front. How did I miss that?


This is an amazing group of women. We are so blessed that we all get along, all enjoy each other's company.



I had to get this one in, too...Megan was the photographer and I didn't want to leave her out.

After we ate as much sushi as we could hold (those of us who like sushi...can you believe not everyone likes sushi?!) we said our goodbyes. Pretty soon, there were just four of us left in front of the restaurant. I don't remember how it started, but someone had the idea for me to climb the horse. (I don't remember, it might have been me.) Then it became evident they were serious. I said, "I can't do that, I'd get arrested!" to which someone replied that there were a group of Chinese tourists doing it earlier. Who can argue with that? So, with a boost from some friends, I climbed the giant metal horse. I even handed my camera over so that my conquest could be immortalized.

You might be wondering why there is no picture in this post, then? Well, I couldn't wait to get home and upload the pics. When I opened the horse pic, I knew it would have to just forever remain in my personal collection. It looks like I really like the horse. I mean a LOT. That wasn't the look I was going for. People might get the wrong idea.

Soooo...I guess you'll just have to use your imaginations. But whatever you do, don't imagine me laying down on it, stroking his mane...with bare feet...or making a pouty face. That would turn out all wrong.